"I Didn't Want to Be Rescued"I could almost see the bridge ahead. I was drunk and driving about 120 mph, and I knew I could easily crash through the rail, and plunge into the water below. Then it would all be over. All of my darkness and depression. A cop car pulled in behind me, lights flashing. So I pulled over. If I had gone through with it, they’d jump in and rescue me. And I definitely did not want to be rescued. My downward spiral started when my parents divorced. I was 3, and I ended up with my dad, visiting my mom on weekends. She spoiled me, buying me everything I wanted. Dad died of a heart attack when I was 15, and I started drinking, getting drunk on weekends. But I wasn’t an alcoholic . . . yet. After Mom died, when I was 25, I was so devastated I started drinking all the time. Over the next 16 years, I considered suicide many times. But every time I tried, someone would “interrupt.” I wanted to be alone when I did it. When the cops pulled me over that night, I was arrested for DUI and spent 3 weeks in jail. But as soon as I got out, I bought some beer and got drunk. There was a heavy snow that day, and three snow plows were going up and down the street. I decided that when they circled back around, I would jump out in front of them and kill myself. But they never came back... I figured God must want me alive. So I checked into rehab that day and spent three months there. After that, I wanted a faith-based follow-up, so I got into the Mission’s Parker House Aftercare program. I haven’t stopped smiling since I’ve been here. I feel better than ever. I’m getting the spiritual nourishment I’ve needed. I have real friends for the first time. And I’m having fun that’s not based on booze and partying. I’ve dedicated my life to Jesus, and I’m doing very well. Thank you for making that possible! Thank you for rescuing me. Now I have a future filled with hope!
Rescue Mission of Utica