"I Turned to Drugs to Escape My Anger and Numb the Pain"

When I was 11, I went to a Christian summer camp and had a great experience. When my mom picked me up, my counselor told her that I got saved — and my mom laughed at me. I felt ashamed and embarrassed. And I held on to my anger for a long time. A few years later, my brother was killed in a car accident. My anger and bitterness grew even worse. I turned to drugs to escape my anger and numb my pain. For years, I was a drug addict, and I drank a lot too. I fathered a few children, and I was even married for a while. But when I caught my wife committing adultery, I got violent with the guy and he ended up in the hospital. I knew I was out of control, so I tried rehab a few times, including here at the Rescue Mission of Utica. But I never had my whole heart in it, so I kept relapsing. I just couldn’t get over my anger at my mom or over losing my brother. I finally told my mom, and she said she remembered laughing because I was a good swimmer as a kid. She thought I got saved from drowning! So all those years of resentment were based on a miscommunication. I kept trying to clean up and then relapsing. But the Mission was patient with me, even though I felt ashamed. I told them about all these painful things that had led me here. They said God is still waiting for me, that He never went anywhere. They prayed with me about forgiving others. I forgave my mom, and later, when I saw the guy who was driving the car that killed my brother, I actually went up to him and forgave him. These are things I’d never be able to do if not for the Mission. A year ago, I was a depressed hot mess. But now, I am so blessed because of the Mission. I feel like a million bucks, and every day is better than the day before. Thank you! “Thank you for second chances. Now, every day is better than the day before!”